Posts Tagged ‘Boris’
Reasons to vote for and against Bojo, Ken – and the other guy
It says something about the people’s confidence in the body politic that we have a mayoral election for one of the world’s great cities, with two over-the-top celeb-politicians and a gay ex-police chief – and yet the public’s interest hovers somewhere below the result of The Apprentice.
In my travels in the capital I have seen only one poster for Bojo – and that was listing at an appropriately crazy angle outside Tory HQ in Chelsea. In the interests of balance, I also spotted one for Ken in a sink estate in Southwark – and that was upside down.
When Bojo visited the King’s Road last week he was mobbed – but only by his own helpers. The populace hurried on by.
Anyway, here are some reasons for and against voting for Bojo, Ken…and the other guy.
First Bojo – he would be a dead cert for my vote except for one thing: he is against the £25 congestion charge for high polluting vehicles. Sorry, Bojo, I live in a road where I battle for parking with giant behomeths, which also happen to poison the air, block London’s narrow roads slowing us all down – and are 50 times more likely to kill my kids if they happen to run into each other. £25 is not enough. Hopefully a decent City recession will blast a few of them back to the finance company.
Now for, Ken – in his favour is the CC. I was initially an anti. But now it has been extended to my leafy part of the world, I save around 5 minutes a day travelling to work for a mere £5 a week – or whatever it costs. Ken’s regressive taxation has driven the generality off the roads, making way for the likes of me. In the good old commie days, the Soviets had Zil lanes, reserved for the Zil limos of the apparat. Ken’s given me something almost as good. Hooray, I say.
And when I do travel by bus, the CC has speeded up the journey. On the other hand, we all know the bendy buses are about as suited to London’s roads as Tom Cruise was to Nicole Kidman – complete mismatch. Watching those things trying to get around is like observing a giraffe trying to shag a warthog – only less interesting.
As a bus traveller, I avoid the Bendys whenever I can – they are slow and creaky. As a car driver, they take two lanes where a double-decker takes one. And I can only thank God I don’t cycle. Bendy buses may seem like a good idea in the broad, boulevards of Germany – thanks significantly to the RAF – but in London? Hello!
Unfortunately for Bojo, the Bendies have already been paid for, so getting rid of them for some cobweb-tinted vision of the Return of the Routemaster is not on – and anyway, Bojo seems to have got his sums badly wrong on all of that. Ken, at least, has admitted he was wrong and will not be ordering any more.
And the other guy, the Lib Dem? The only man with a sensible policy on cannabis – very brave, well done. But apart from that, sorry, call me a bluff old traditionalist if you like, but he just seems a bit…how should I put it? Wet?
I have spoken. Now go and vote.
Phillip Oppenheim
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